In Mark 10:9 he said ‘Let no person separate what God has spiritually joined together. This is saying that the ‘sacrament’ should not be broken and that is why Christians believe it is important.
Roman Catholics and Orthodox Christians believe that the marriage is most important because of it being a sacrament. They believe what Mark 10:9 said that God spiritually joins them together and that he is present at the ceremony, which makes it important. They also believe the words of Genesis 2:23-24:
‘This is now bones of my bones
and flesh of my flesh;
she shall be called ‘woman’,
for she was taken out of man.
For this reason a man will leave his father and
Mother and be united to his wife, and they will
Become one flesh.
The Church of England Christians believe marriage is important because it is a covenant. This is an agreement made between the couple. They believe that it is the same agreement Jesus made with the Jews. Humanists believe that marriage is a valuable institution to raise children and give a stable society.
Christians also believe marriage is important because of its purposes. These purposes are:
- Companionship for life.
- For sexual relationships and to have children.
- For a family life and for an ideal unit to raise children.
- A stable unit leads to a stable society.
Another reason marriage is considered to be important is because of the special bond it provides between both partners and their children.
Divorce
Lots of marriages fail. Britain has the highest divorce rate in Europe. This is because it is the most easiest place to get a divorce. Most couples experience some problems within their marriage, these include: financial problems, problems with work, unemployment, illness etc.
More important problems in marriages that can lead to divorce include:
- Adultery – breaks the commandments and vows and breaks the trust of the partner.
- Childlessness – some couples who want children cannot have them and puts stress on the marriage. This is especially a problem for Christians as on of their reasons to marry is to start a family.
- One partner deciding they don’t want children when the other does.
Three solutions from a failed marriage are:
- Desertion – one partner leaves the home to live somewhere else.
- Judicial separation – The court grants the separation, which means the couple are not allowed to interfere in each other’s lives. After 5 years one partner can apply for divorce without the consent of the other partner.
- Divorce – The marriage is officially declared by the courts to have finished. After 2 years of living apart and if both partners agree they can apply for a divorce.
Different attitudes about divorce
All Christians do not believe in divorce. They believe marriage is intended for life but not all marriages last. Some do allow divorce and refer to Matt 5:31-32 under the terms of adultery has been committed.
Mark 10:5-9 says ‘ what God joined together, let no man separate’ and that marriage is for life. Matt 5:31-32 says ‘anyone who divorces his wife must give her a certificate of divorce’ so does allow divorce but it must be for ‘martial unfaithfulness’.
Roman Catholics don’t believe in divorce because they believe marriage is spiritually bound as a sacrament and that cannot be broken. They cannot divorce but they can live separately. They cannot remarry. They can have an annulment where the marriage is declared ‘null’. It means that no proper marriage took place.
An annulment can take place for these reasons:
- The marriage was not consummated sexually.
- The couple were young when they married and didn’t understand what they were doing.
- If one partner was suffering from a mental or nervous problem and was unaware of what was happening.
An annulment can take a long time and is expensive. Orthodox Christians, Methodists and United Reform Churches cannot remarry in Church for a certain amount of time after they have divorced if they were the guilty partner for breaking up the marriage. They believe marriage is for life but do understand that it sometimes breaks down. They believe the innocent partner should be able to remarry. Orthodox Christians also believe that marriage is a sacrament so it should not be broken. Some Christians believe that neither partner should remarry if you are divorced because of the failure of their first marriage. Others believe it is normal to want to remarry especially if the broken marriage wasn’t their fault.
Teachings to help prevent divorce
The vows made can be categorised as a teaching of marriage to stay together forever. They are telling you that you are joining together to be committed to each other for life. They are valuable to your marriage because when you are going through bad times they can help you through it when you remember what you promised to your partner.
There are several bible references to help you when you are going through difficult times, these include:
‘At the beginning of creation God made them male and female’. ‘ For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’. ‘So they are no longer two but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate’.
St Paul said ‘To the married I give this command (not I, but the lord):A wife must not separate from her husband. But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife.
‘Men ought to love their wives like they love themselves’
Jesus also taught his Christians a lot about divorce in the Bible. The main thing he taught was that he believed that Divorce was o.k. if adultery had been committed by either partner. These bible references also say what Jesus had taught.
Two of the Ten Commandments also try to stop people from leading their marriage to divorce, these are:
‘Thou shall not commit adultery’
‘Don’t desire what isn’t yours’
These both are trying to stop adultery taking place so that marriages do not break down. Another thing Christians teach about Divorce is that it can make children’s lives suffer. The teachings about the care and love for children help to prevent you ruining your children’s lives.
Would a couple be compromising their religious beliefs by deciding to live together before marriage?
I don’t think there is anything wrong with deciding to live with a partner before/instead of marriage. You are still in a relationship and there is no reason you cannot have a serious relationship without marrying. You still care about a person just as much as if you marry them and it is personal decision if you decide you don’t want to marry. I think it is often a good thing to live with a person before marriage because you can decide whether it is the right thing to do. It means you are not rushed into getting married which if it is a wrong thing which could end in a divorce. Lots of people decide after a failure of a first marriage that if they meet a new partner they will just live with them instead of remarrying. Lots of couples live together before marriage and a few years ago it stood at 70% of couples living together before deciding whether to get married. Most couples decide to get married as a seal to their relationship. It means that they know they have a true relationship that should last especially if they are thinking about starting a family. Most people decide that they should marry before having children so they can bring them up in a stable and loving relationship.
Roman Catholics believe that it is wrong to live together before marriage because they believe that marriage is a sacrament and that it spiritually joins the couple together. They believe the only place for sex is within a marriage and that children should be brought up in a good stable relationship such as marriage. Church of England Christians believe that if you are in a loving relationship then sex is ok but to start a family and have children you should get married to have the best relationship for your children.
