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Peer Reviews
Here's what a star student thought of this essay
Quality of writing
The layout of the essay is not ideal. The candidate describes everything in one big paragraph when they should split everything up into sub sections with clear subheadings to make it easier to read. Punctuation, grammar and spelling all to a good level.
Level of analysis
The observations in this experiment are done well and the candidate attempts to link the science behind the kidney to what they are observing, although I think a more thorough analysis of kidney function is needed. The candidate explains the method well, but would be better explaining how they made sure that other factors did not confound their results as this shows greater understanding of what might affect the experiment and makes the experiment more reliable. Their conclusion is adequate to what they observed, but they should have included an evaluation which would have described what factors went wrong in the experiment and how to improve it.
Response to question
The response to the investigation is done moderately well. The candidate links back and explains the experiment, but the experiment is not laid out very well which loses the candidate quite a lot of marks.