My objective for this paper is essentially to establish how the children are affected by divorce. Judith Wallerstien, who is known as an innovator in the research concerning divorce and its effects on children, conducted a major study in 1971. This partic

         Children are sensitive to the conflict in the marriage, and after a divorce may become even more sensitive to it, especially if the children have shown attachment problems or begin to show attachment problems with the absent parent. They may also suffer from role reversals with their parents and social problems with their peers because of their difficulty regulating their emotions. It is as if they exert all their emotional control in the home, and have little left for the school and play.

        The cold silent treatment is just as obvious to children, since parents who suddenly do not speak to each other, or who are no longer affectionate with each other mark a significant change in a child's judgment. Some argue this kind of conflict is actually worse for children than open arguments; an open argument can be resolved, but a quiet, subtle war does not appear resolved.

        Very young children become distressed and may cry, express fear, or show anxiety. They may have nightmares, engage in regressive behavior, and appear to back up to a much younger age. They are less likely to get involved to stop parents, but more likely to try to distract them from fighting with needy or inappropriate behavior, or to withdraw and become dejected. At age five or six, children begin to get involved directly, expressing desires that parents stop, or that the arguing makes them unhappy. They may become little adults in an effort to stabilize the family as well, but it is unclear as to how much this influences them to suffer emotional problems in later life. They may be more likely to become trapped and experience turnaround of roles and social problems, as noted above. Teens may be more likely to mediate, and may also become more distressed because they can realize more completely the severity of arguments. Younger boys may show more acting out, aggressive, and hyperactive behavior. Girls may show more withdrawing and dejection, or little adult behavior that is unlikely to draw the same level of attention that a boy's wild and uncontrolled behavior does. Around the teen years, girls may report feeling more anger and boys more sadness.

         If the parents are getting a divorce while the children are still young, the children are much more likely to blame themselves for the divorce. In this case they will act mature and take on extra responsibilities thinking that in doing so the parents won’t consider a divorce. Also they are likely to fear abandonment by the remaining parent because since one of the parents already left the family, the child fears that he or she will be left alone as well. They have trouble sleeping or staying by themselves and also quite a few of them have nightmares about the whole event. They may be confused, have fantasies about reconciliation, and show difficulties in expressing their feelings. As they grow older they tend to express feelings of sadness, fear, and anger. They are less likely to blame themselves, but they are more likely to feel divided between the two parents. A large amount of the children from divorced families have a propensity towards depression and some of them actually fall into depression. They have a hard time concentrating and consequentially do inadequately in school. Also a number of these children from divorced families are in mental-health treatment programs, in special-education classes, or referred to school psychologists by their teachers. And one of their major weaknesses is that they have a hard time creating new relationships or friendships.

        After 10 years into the research most of the children were adults. Overall, 45 percent were doing well; they had emerged as competent, compassionate and courageous people. But 41 percent were doing poorly; they were entering adulthood as worried, underachieving, self-depreciating and sometimes angry young men and women. The divorce doesn’t only affect the children in short-term but influences them throughout their entire lives. They feel neglected by either one of the parent and in some cases by both parents. As they get older and get into relationships of their own they have a difficulty with being insecure and a majority of them find themselves to be extremely jealous. And overcome by fears and anxieties, they begin to make connections between these feelings and their parent’s divorce. Therefore the couples that have children should consider all the consequences before they get a divorce. Essentially because their decision to get a divorce or not determines the well being and the future of their children.