• Join over 1.2 million students every month
  • Accelerate your learning by 29%
  • Unlimited access from just £6.99 per month

Where to explore - many undergraduates in universities will spend their summer vacations traveling to other countries. Hot choices are Europe and the U.S.A while more and more teenagers are going for the Mainland.

Extracts from this document...

Introduction

Where to explore? Time runs fast. To better utilize it, many undergraduates in universities will spend their summer vacations traveling to other countries. Hot choices are Europe and the U.S.A while more and more teenagers are going for the Mainland. Why are people choosing a western vacation? And what is reason of the others being attracted by the Mainland? Is there any downside of the choices? Soon we are going to know. Going to Europe is a good choice, as Europe included many countries, so people can explore some kinds of different culture at once. ...read more.

Middle

What can we do in Mainland? Mainland shared a similar culture with us here in Hong Kong because we have a linked history background. What we can do there is to go to some perfect sceneries, searching for local snacks, visiting the rural areas and enjoy some times with the nature. Comparing with Europe, the Mainland is famous for her inexpensive goods and services. Also, Chinese is good at handicrafts, so people can buy some special things home for souvenirs easily. However, going to Europe is costly, for that you have to pay a lot for the transportation. ...read more.

Conclusion

Even though you have a strong body, there are still other problems. There are many pirate goods and they are of good quality, so it is hard for you to know if it is the real goods that you are looking for. You might feel ashamed if you were found to have a fake brand named bag but you yourself know nothing about this. Traveling to other places is usually a worth-to-have experience to many people, especially teenagers. Therefore, to keep your journey a remarkable one, plan your trip well according to what you expected to encounter and what you can afford risking before really making your final decisions. Bless you a nice trip! ...read more.

The above preview is unformatted text

This student written piece of work is one of many that can be found in our GCSE Writing to Argue, Persuade and Advise section.

Found what you're looking for?

  • Start learning 29% faster today
  • 150,000+ documents available
  • Just £6.99 a month

Here's what a star student thought of this essay

4 star(s)

Response to the question

This is a Writing to Persuade tasks and the candidate is instructed to present an brochure insert/article that would attract University students from choosing the obvious holiday destinations like the USA and Europe. The candidate responds well though there are ...

Read full review

Response to the question

This is a Writing to Persuade tasks and the candidate is instructed to present an brochure insert/article that would attract University students from choosing the obvious holiday destinations like the USA and Europe. The candidate responds well though there are some fundamental flaws in the essay. The candidate's preferred location is ambiguous - they only mention "the Mainland" as the destination that students should look to going to and we have to guess through the description which country they are referring to; my best guess was Japan? The is a problem for someone trying to advertise a holiday destination as it is almost a given that you would see the name of the place being advertised within the first four lines, surely?

Level of analysis

The Level of Persuasion is fair. The candidate has utilised a lot of rhetoric and chooses Second Person address to involve the audience very consistently. You really get the real that some of the candidate's answer could be part of an actual brochure because it's so direct and intriguing to the audience. There could be a better use of statistics and voice of authority (or a celebrity, maybe?) to convince people that Japan really is the place to go and indulge in the culture of. Culture is something that is touched on in great detail here and it is one of the main pull factors for tourists. The tourism hotspots are another, as is the cuisine, but this last pull factor could be elaborated more.

Quality of writing

The Quality of Written Communication is fine. There is an extensive use of short, simplistic sentences and it's possible that in "the grab" (the first four lines or so, that aim to attract the reader) could use more complex sentences structure to becomes more appealing and draw the reader in more, but these are minor details. All the required aspects of Standard English are present and the candidate adheres well to the requirements of a GCSE English student.


Did you find this review helpful? Join our team of reviewers and help other students learn

Reviewed by sydneyhopcroft 11/04/2012

Read less
Not the one? Search for your essay title...
  • Join over 1.2 million students every month
  • Accelerate your learning by 29%
  • Unlimited access from just £6.99 per month

See related essaysSee related essays

Related GCSE Writing to Argue, Persuade and Advise essays

  1. Marked by a teacher

    media coursework- comparing two movie posters

    4 star(s)

    the text more directly to the film as it was made to look like a restaurant sign and the film is set in a restaurant. The iconography also shows the film is about a rat before the audience looks at the image, this means that the audience could look at

  2. Peer reviewed

    Pressures on Teenagers.

    3 star(s)

    Peer pressure is probably the most obvious reason and I'd say this is the most common as well. If you were in a situation where all your friends are smoking and you aren't, you are going to feel left if you don't smoke, I'd say.

  1. English language - collection of persuasive essays - Do you agree or disagree with ...

    I think this is an exaggeration. In my opinion, whether or not television hurts communication depends on what type of program is being viewed. More importantly, it depends on the type of viewer. There are empty programs and educational programs.

  2. Should we eat meat? The arguments for vegetarianism include cruelty, health matters and taste. ...

    Many make their livings from selling eggs, milk, cheese and skins from their livestock, and selling the actual animals at markets and fairs. The stoppage of meat eating might even put some EHO's out of a job if they didn't have enough food complaints about meat and animal products.

  1. Why do teenagers decide to smoke and drink alcohol?

    Tobacco/ cigarettes 16/25 - 64% c. Others 1/25 - 4% 4. Do you usually consume this drugs? a. Yes 5/25 - 20% b. No 18/25 - 72% c. I've never used them 2/25 - 8% 5. How many times have you consumed this psychoactive drugs? a.

  2. Essays on the importance of fashion, and on violence in video games.

    Impact on outer perception Clothes have an immense impact on the perception of people around and on the perception of the person wearing them, too. A suit can make a person feel more confident and organized, which would eventually change even the gestures and the manner of talking of

  1. Original Writing Coursework Fox Hunting,

    So I must come to the conclusion that the hunters really enjoy the kill and not all the other things as they say they do. I will show a piece of writing by Henry S. Salt in which he weighs if drag hunting is as good as fox hunting.

  2. D.A.R.E. Report on my experience of drug and anti-bullying education.

    Either way, I still talk to them and try to get to know then. Also, even though I actually never saw someone bully another before, I just know what to do in that situation, and why they did that. Not everything in life is a joke, for people have reasons in which they do things.

  • Over 160,000 pieces
    of student written work
  • Annotated by
    experienced teachers
  • Ideas and feedback to
    improve your own work