Eine pazifistische Politik ist in der modernen Welt nicht realistisch Stimmen Sie dem zu?
Der private Autoverkehr sollte eingeschrankt werden
Die Frage, ob der private Autoverkehr eingeschrankt werden sollte, ist wichtig. Im Laufe des letzten Jahrhunderts ist die Popularitat des Autos starkangestiegen. Obwohl das Auto dem Reichtum dieses Landes hinzufugen hatte, mussen wir Heute mit den schlechten Wirkungen und den Nachteilen des Autos fertig werden.
Das Hauptproblem, dass die Kraftwagen verursachen haben, ist die Umweltverschmutzung. Jeden tag steht etwas in der Zeitung daruber. In Oxford zum Beispiel, wo die Verkehrsdichte sehr hoch ist, ist die Luftqualitat sehr schlecht- eigentlich hat die Luftverschmutzung Gesundheitsprobleme verursacht. Die Asthmaraten sind am hochsten in Gebieten wo es viel Verkehr gibt. Ich bin vollig uberzeugt, dass der Gebrauch von alternativen Treibstoffen und Fahrzeugen mit geringen Emissionen unterstutzt und ermutigt werden sollte. Emissionsarmer Autos konnte helfen, die Gesundheitsproblemen zu vermindern.
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Peer Reviews
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Quality of writing
The level of German here is very high. First of all, there is wide and relevant use of connecting phrases, such as “Ich bin der Meinung”, “Es wird allem klar”, “Ich gebe zu”. They all demonstrate a balance of opinion and fact and lend a natural flow to the text. The lexis in general is well-chosen and creative; the various sub-themes ensure a constant input of new vocabulary, reducing repetitions. The grammar is almost impeccable and it is clear that the author enjoys using the nuances of German to his/her advantage. As an example, we see various tenses, even a hypothetical question (“Wer kann sich solche Investitionen im Moment wegen der Finanzkrise leisten?”). Thanks to these, the style becomes elegant and sophisticated. However, there are mistakes in the usage of cases, genders and adjective-verb agreements. For example, “Emissionsarmer Autos konnte helfen” should become “Emissionsarme Autos koennten helfen”, and “eine klares Beispiel” should become “ein klares Beispiel”. Such mistakes usually come from inattention, meaning that the author should always reread the essay and check all the agreements.
Level of analysis
Excellent structure throughout; moreover, each paragraph contains valuable content. It is clear that the author goes beyond simple description; he/she presents a text that argues a certain point, uses a mix of factual evidence and opinion, proposes solutions and builds a hypothesis. All of these are combined, for example, in the 2nd paragraph, which focuses on the effects of smog – and together, they make a very persuasive point. In the following paragraphs, the writer shows creativity and consideration by touching upon other aspects of the use of cars: accidents, pollution, and the economy. It was a nice surprise to see the point about “moralische Verpflichtung” – it proves the author’s engagement in the subject. What further enhances the essay is the presentation of the other side of the argument. By showing the cons and pros, and yet still succeeding in creating a clear-cut argument, the writer displays his/her ability to think critically in a foreign language and express his/her ideas very clearly, without losing track of them (which can easily happen with questions as rich as this one).
Response to question
This is a great example of an A-Level essay. It works well on the level of language, as well as content, and immediately attracts the reader’s attention by making numerous relevant points. The introduction gives us an overview of the theme and already provokes a reaction by presenting a well-chosen statistic. The author goes on to argue and persuade, always returning to the question, thus keeping the text relevant and focused. In the conclusion, the author uses very concise phrases to sum up the essay (big plus for that) and offers us one last analytical insight of his/her own. This demonstrates an interaction with the text – even while writing an essay in a foreign language, we can see that the author was able to work out new ideas and learn something.