Last night we ran around the city, armed with lipstick, compacts, tiny bags and a map, just like fifteen year olds.

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English Language and Literature essay

Last night we ran around the city, armed with lipstick, compacts, tiny bags and a map, just like fifteen year olds. It rained today, poured down like the Monsoon in India, I loved it, for the first time I felt free, Id discovered a new philosophy on life, and was determined to make it happen. Of course it was not going to be easy, but I would be free again, free to control my life. I now understand you cannot always blame yourself for your misfortunes; some things are out of your control.

I had visited the doctors a week ago, ‘I’ve been getting headaches’, I explained ‘I know what the cause is’, I quickly added, I wanted a prescription for anti-depressants. Doctor Nelson had wistful expression, I suddenly felt exposed as if he knew something about me that he shouldn’t, his eyebrows met each other and then moved apart suddenly,

‘Tell me a bit about yourself’, he said with a warm smile.

‘Well I work in a bank, Barclays, I quite enjoy it, I get on really well with my colleagues, I had a pay rise last week’, the doctor smiled at me, his smile invited me stop talking,

‘Ok Karen, tell me a little about your past, your childhood’, he said softly.

‘I had a happy childhood, my mother was very loving, you could say I was spoilt ’ I said presenting a false smile.

I was lying I looked at the certificate on wall to the far right Arthur Nelson, Master Of Medicine, Cambridge University. I couldn’t tell the doctor of my troubled passed and current problems, he wouldn’t understand. My childhood had been lonely, I didn’t have a father, he had left my mother when I was 2 years old. My mother never spoke about him; I had once asked her ‘Mummy what was daddy like?’ I soon realised it was a subject off limits in the household. My mother became an alcoholic and lost custody of me when I was 11 years old. I saw her a few times after. She died when 10 years ago. I met John shortly after he wasn’t very handsome but very intelligent, he had a critical nature about him but I overlooked that, after all he was extremely intelligent so why shouldn’t he, what was significant in attracting me to him, was the fact that his childhood had been almost parallel to mine. After a year of seeing each other he finally told me about his troubled childhood, his father had beat his mother up in front of him when he was only five, a few years later his mother committed suicide. Id felt sorry for him, I had thought I had experienced a sad and cruel childhood. Somehow Id felt we were made for each other it couldn’t just be fate, we were married a few months later. I wanted to be a good wife provide and provide him with support and comfort he like me had missed out on in his childhood. But I also wanted independence, John had achieved his goals and was an IT technician, I wanted something for myself, so when I got the job at the bank, and then the chance of promotion I wanted to achieve the best I could get. John didn’t like this.  

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‘I’m sorry to hear about your mother, I am glad you enjoy work so much, not all of us do, not when you start at eight in the morning and finish at seven in the evening, you know’, the doctor said warmly we, shared a brief  laugh, I could tell he was trying to find out something, carefully building a model of me in his head and deconstructing it after everything I said.  

‘So Karen are you married, do you have a partner?’ he asked as he slowly took off he’s spectacles and began wiping them with ...

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