The Banana Farmer of Billingshurst

he didn’t care as he was going to live in Birmingham and start ‘Mr banana’s accountants’ where he would live a dull life. He didn’t seem to care about the innocent banana-blood that would be spilled should he let evil industries inc. take over. That night as he began to drift into sleep, a magical banana-fairy (called Frank) visited Mr Banana farmer and told him the error of his ways, Mr B.f. decided that It was rightfully his duty to take on evil, faceless corporations that threatened to wipes out small Banana-farming. Operations like his own! He immediately used his super powers to fly to America, home of many of the companies that were trying to get rid of competitive banana farming for good, he looked in disgust at the greed that surrounded him and used his banana-psychic powers to summon the nearby bananas, they were pale and weak because of the neglect they received from the corporation, Mr B.F. vomited of the sight of them yet the bananas were angry and wanted revenge and stormed into the building, throwing themselves at the bumbling yuppies who tried to stop them. But it was too late, the bananas stormed up to the company president, peeled themselves and jumped down his throat. The under nourished bananas gave him poisoning from all the “harmless” chemicals that had been put on them, the company president died instantly and the bananas let out an almighty cheer. The banana farmer let out a smile at the irony of the C-P’s death, killed by the Chemicals he had proclaimed safe. The banana farmer won many other victories in the years that followed, but when he returned to Billingshurst all of his own bananas had died and their shrivelled banana-corpses littered his fields. He knelt down by little Benny, the crippled banana, who would never see the bright lights of West Chiltington as the farmer had so often promised. Mr B.F. let loose all of his tears that he had held back for so long as he cradled the tiny body in his arms and was surrounded by death. He saw the empty barrels of chemicals from evil industries inc. and howled like a baby, he had given so many other bananas new life, but had failed to protect his own from the evil corporations he had fought for so long, he went to the highest cliff in Billingshurst and took his own life.