The term confirmation bias is a subject that I really had to think about when it came to me. I tend to think that I am pretty opened minded and figure if the shoe doesn’t fit that try another one on. But in saying that I wonder if I look for characteristics of me that makes the belief that I am open minded a reality. SO honestly I would have to say that I am not sure if confirmation bias influences me on the way I think about myself and others.
I think of the saying “so you think, so you are”, when it comes to my experience with my beliefs generating their own confirmation. I think that if a person thinks something long enough and works at it than it becomes a reality. I don’t think that a belief can come true unless it is worked for and at.
My behavior has affected the way I view the world. I have been a drug addict, cheater, and con artist not to mention some other unsavory things in my life time and being delivered from those things, so to speak, have taught me to treat people with compassion. I think that had I not went through the things that I did and had people not shown me compassion and true concern I may be a totally different person.
I could attribute the way that I think to my gender and the environment in which I was raised. By nature I am nurturing and easy going. I don’t think that has to do with me being female but more or less I would attribute that to the types of females that I was around. I seem to mirror the thoughts and actions of my grandmother. She like me was not very submissive and at times could seem very hard or impervious. And then depending on the situation could be the meekest and humble person you would ever meet. I was always taught that as a woman I needed to be tough. Not only because I was a woman but because in life there is no mercy if you are having a bad day it is going to stay bad until you change it. There are no freebee’s anything worth having is worth working for and just because you are a girl doesn’t mean you deserve it. That just means you have to work that much harder to get it.
This teaching as a child has affected my ability to conform. What may suite others and be fine may not be the best for me. I consider myself to be a nonconformist. I am not afraid to go against the grain and most of the time I choose to do just that. I don’t think that being a self-proclaimed nonconformist is by any definition a bad thing. However when it comes to authority figures there is that part of m\e that likes to see how far out of the box I can go. For instance in high school I was always pushing the envelope for getting into trouble. I would always bend the rules to what I wanted just enough so that I wouldn’t break them. I remember attempting to skip class a getting caught. My friends that were with me took their punishment but as for me I wasn’t willing to accept it. After having my mother called to school to talk about what I did, it was explained that I was trying to leave school grounds. I then explained that I never stepped off school property and therefore didn’t qualify for the punishment being given. Needless to say I didn’t receive punishment for leaving school grounds but I did get detention for being insubordinate.
I had been known for doing favors so I can answer yes to the question of whether or not the foot-in-the-door technique has persuaded me to do things. Nothing that I am proud of, but as a teenager I would be asked to do small favors like driving a person to a destination while they had an appointment or to run errands. Once I was asked to drive a person out of state an before I realized what was going on I was en route to taking a person to purchase drugs. I did get out of it but now thinking back it was so easy for me to get sucked in because I wanted to be the nice girl. I can say that I have never tried to persuade someone to do something they don’t want to. I figure if I wouldn’t do it myself than why ask someone else to do it.
Speaking of the nice girl when I was younger I would change the way I acted around people to make them like me. I then got a speech about being a leader and not a follower that I now preach to my younger family members. I can say that now I am no longer the type to try and alter myself because of who is around. I will be appropriate for the occasion but my personality is the same. I feel like you can take me as I am. For instance if I am out with friends in a relaxed setting I will be more talkative and less formal with my actions. But in a business setting I am talkative and my everyday self just more formal.
When completing business I like to work alone. It has been my experience that when there is a group setting there is always one person who is the social loafer among everyone else. This is when it may be a bad thing that I don’t change the way I act around others. I have been collaborating with a group of gentlemen doing music and it was a unanimous decision that everyone was to put together some ideas for the group and then present them. All was well except there was a gentleman who felt he didn’t have to participate. I kindly let him know that the request was for everyone and if he felt as if he didn’t have to include his input when it came to business than he needed to excuse himself from the group. That experience has made it clear that from now on when there is group work to be done responsibilities need to be delegated and carried out. I don’t foresee anything like this occurring to me again in the future if I can help it. That incident has made me very selective about whom I work with.
This process has also made me be careful about who I associate myself with. I try not to associate myself with negative people. I find that deindividuation is quite an easy thing to fall into. It’s like when a group of children get together in a circle and yell “fight, fight”, you may not know why a person is fighting but because everyone else is pumped up and saying it you feel compelled. I try to avoid situations like that or for that matter any situation where I am not aware of my self-control.
My self-control is very important to me and dictates a lot of my relationships I find that if I can let go when it comes to building a personal relationship with someone it is a trait that I value. When it comes to picking a companion I look for three things they are honesty, humility and independence. Those are very important to me. As for sustaining relationships I don’t have a game plan. I usually let the chips fall where they may. I try to give my all and I expect the same in return. I don’t nit-pick about the things I can live with and I dismiss the person if there is a portion I can’t live without. In order to resolve conflict in my relationships I tend to use the line “Lets agree to disagree”, I won’t tell a person that they are wrong when they may not be but if I disagree with the notion whatever it maybe I use that line. That way no one is being discounted and no one is right or wrong.
This is my self-analysis. It is 100% my thoughts and outlook on things. In some circles it may be the right way to be or the wrong thing to be in others. All I can say is I am who I am.
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o Relationships
∙ What factors cause you to be attracted to someone?
∙ What do you do to help sustain your relationships?
∙ What do you do to resolve conflict? Provide examples to demonstrate your answer.
