Tuesday
Bob and I had a magical night. It was great fun. We tiptoed up the stairs after he ate his dinner, which I prepared for him. I started the conversation while we ate but bob didn’t look very keen discuss matters as he was very tired when he came from work. When we got to his room He was very romantic and suggested to light a candle for each other as a symbol for our love. Bob made love to me for the first time. He was the kind of man you would want to marry. It felt, as he could be my chance of a better life. I have had my times with other men but he has by far looked the best prospect.
Wednesday
I never got to see bob today. We met for a short time and he told me jack was home early and said it was too risky to meet up. He was looking very anxious, but I understood because I knew my brother was a maniac just as everyone knew. He doesn’t want me to grow up; he wants me to stay in the boarding house forever. He’s so possessive and feels like being trapped. I have always been scared of him because he loses his temper very quickly.
Thursday
We ate together today. I waited for him to arrive home and warmed up our dinner. It felt so romantic and felt like we had something special. When we reached his room he told me how much he had missed me last night and I got the impression he was very keen to make love to me. I crept back in to my room later that night and nearly awoke mother. If she found out she wouldn’t be pleased but she would want me to be happy. Maybe like me she could see his potential as husband.
Friday
When I met bob he was looking quite tense and anxious. This was because the rumours about our affair were spread around the boarding house. He held me and we fell asleep for a short time. Afterwards I went downstairs to help mum clean up. She was straightforward and asked me what was going on and I told her. She said she would speak with and I was pleased because she is intent on him marrying me.
Saturday
I knocked on bob’s room and started to cry. There was news mum had something arranged for bob and me. Bob was telling me how scared he was of losing his respect, but assured me everything was going to be all right. I went back to his room quite relieved. But I got the feeling he wasn’t happy because he seemed to look disappointed. But I am happy as this could be my chance of a better and normal life.
Sunday
When mum called me down she was asking me very frank questions. When I went away and she called bob I was very scared. When mum called me downstairs saying bob wants to speak to me, I didn’t know what to expect and had 100 things going on in my mind. But when he proposed to me I felt like the happiest girl on earth as I felt it was the right thing to do. But I was feeling guilty as I got the impression mum forced bob to do what he did and felt wrong if I was marrying a man forced to marry me.
