The conflict between reason and emotion due to social standards occurs in both Darcy and Jane. Jane tries to convince herself to not love Rochester as she feels that she is not good enough for him: “You have nothing to do with the master of Thornfield, further than to receive the salary he gives you….Don’t make him the object of your fine feelings, your raptures, agonies and so forth. He is not of your order: keep to your caste; and be too self-respecting to lavish the love of the heart…where such a gift is not wanted and would be despised” (185). Darcy confesses in his proposal that he tried to use “his sense of her inferiority—of its being a degradation” (185) to conquer his attachment but to no avail. This inequality, inherent due to the different classes of the characters, provides an impetus for the development of equality through the assertion of independence and intellect during the course of the novel.
Many of the “courtship” scenes in Pride and Prejudice are verbal encounters, often with a third person present as well; Elizabeth’s intelligence is displayed through her speech. Darcy gives Elizabeth an implicit compliment during a conversation concerning the notion of an “accomplished” woman. The fact that Elizabeth enjoys reading is sarcastically pointed by Miss Bingley: “Miss Eliza Bennet…despises cards. She is a great reader and has not pleasure in anything else” (37). Darcy later states that reading is one of the traits of an accomplished lady: “All this she must posses…and to all this she must yet add something more substantial, in the improvement of her mind by extensive reading” (39). The compliment is an implied one, and Elizabeth does not seem to notice it. Her tone, self-assured and playful from the beginning, has a hint of humor as she responds: “I am no longer surprised at your knowing only six accomplished women. I rather wonder now at your knowing any” (39). Miss Bingley’s interference on the occasion serves to strengthen Darcy’s regard for Elizabeth. The verbal discussions in Pride and Prejudice are in direct contrast with the conversations that Jane and Rochester have where there is a direct communication of thoughts. Both parties are very explicit, and the lack of an external observer gives them the freedom from societal rules that perhaps hinder Elizabeth and Darcy. The extent of social restrictions makes any physical proximity between the two create a sensual tension as in the sentence “[he] stationed himself so as to command a full view of the fair performer’s countenance” (171). This contrasts with the frequent embracing in Jane Eyre. Jane and Rochester are able to communicate without the use of words as well showing the extent to which they understand each other: “Mr. Rochester had sometimes read my unspoken thoughts with an acumen to me incomprehensible: in the present instance he took no notice of my abrupt verbal response; but he smiled at me with a certain smile he had of his own…” (276).
Though Elizabeth does not admit that she respects Darcy, she enjoys having control over him. In response to Darcy’s asking her if she wanted to dance a reel she says, “You wanted me, I know, to say ‘Yes,’ that you might have the pleasure of despising my taste, but I always delight in overthrowing those kind of schemes, and cheating a person of their premeditated contempt. …And now despise me if you dare” (50). She is surprised by his gallantry then, and not too long after she accepts Darcy’s application for her hand “without knowing what she did” (89) which begins the gradual change of her opinion of Darcy. Though Jane realizes much more quickly that she loves Rochester, she does not admit it to him immediately; she enjoys the control she has over him. Rochester dresses up as a gypsy to obtain a confession of love from Jane; his act of using a disguise shows his desperateness and he acknowledges that is it “scarcely fair” (228). His tone of child-like repentance when he asks, ‘Do you forgive me, Jane?’ and her authoritative but compassionate response of “…I shall try to forgive you; but it was not right” (228) clearly portrays the extent of power she has with him.
Elizabeth, at first, rejects Darcy. She has enough self-esteem that Darcy’s manner of address offends her. Darcy, having given his respect to Elizabeth, sets about obtaining Elizabeth’s regard in the future. He later tells her: “My object...was to shew you, by every civility in my power that I was not so mean as to resent the past; and I hoped to obtain your forgiveness, to less your ill opinion…” (349). Jane also does not stay with Rochester after finding out that he already has a wife. She, too, has a sense of self-worth: “I care for myself. The more solitary, the more friendless, the more unsustained I am, the more I will respect myself” (356). Both heroines display this trait that the men value.
Though marriage was the means through which a young lady of the nineteenth century was supposed to advance herself in society, neither Elizabeth nor Jane thought of marriage in this way. This idea is recognized and respected by Darcy as well as Rochester. Elizabeth points it out as the reason why Darcy began to notice her in the resolution of Pride and Prejudice:
The fact is, that you were sick of civility, of deference, of officious attention. You were disgusted with the women who were always speaking and looking, and thinking of your approbation alone. I roused, and interested you, because I was so unlike them…. (359)
Rochester proves to Jane that Miss Ingram is attentive to him only because of his inheritance and that he loves only her.
Both marriages are mutually beneficial portraying the equality that has been established; each helps the other to fill in deficiencies of understanding and personality. Elizabeth states that the union would have been “to the advantage of both: by her ease and liveliness, his mind might have been softened, his manners improved; and from his judgment, information and knowledge of the world, she must have received the benefit of greater importance” (253). In Jane Eyre, this idea is carried further as Jane serves as the eyes of the blind Rochester. The happiness she experiences she expresses: “all [her] confidence is bestowed on him; all his confidence is devoted to [her]: [they] are precisely suited in character, perfect concord is the result” (500).
From the stories told in Pride and Prejudice and Jane Eyre, it seems that one chooses whom to love in the end. Darcy weighs the disadvantages and the advantages before proposing to Elizabeth; she begins to love him only after she has his esteem; Jane, actively tries to prevent herself from wanted Mr. Rochester’s regard; and Rochester chooses to love Jane instead of Bertha or Miss Ingram as he tells her that he would love her even if she were in the same condition as Bertha. The idea of “hopelessly falling in love” is also incorporated into these stories as logical reasoning struggles to overcome love; the endings, however, do not give the impression that “love triumphs over reason” but rather a combining of the two for a common cause.