A person to admire
I had none of these
I wanted to become part of them
They were delicate, perfect, and innocent
They felt emotion, they had each other
But then I saw myself
My imperfect reflection
My own miserable deformities
My wretched face
Then a stranger came
She was different, not like the others
The cottages taught her
Enabling me to learn
Learn the language
Learn geography, history
Learn how to behave
The stranger was like me, different, unusual
She looked different, sounded different
And they accepted, took on this person, this stranger
I hoped
I wished
I could be taken in
like one of the family
I was still learning
learning about life, a wider view of life
Gaining a wider perspective of life
I was realizing
What I was
What I wasn’t
Who I was
I realized I was different, a wretch, a blot
Now I know why, why all men fled
I was ugly, gross, a freak
But still, still I cared,
for the cottagers
for the delicate creatures
Yet I know I could not be seen,
could not be heard or even known
I was so shut out, isolated
Isolated from intercourse
Then I found the books
Such a delightful find
They excited me
Excited my emotions
I was on my own, so isolate
I was solitary and abhorred
I was worst than Satan, I had no one
I had nothing, no friends or relations
That was my father’s fault
My creator
I cursed him
Yet I loved him
I was so confused.
