Here's what a star student thought of this essay
Quality of writing
The term 'External Influences' is described poorly. An external influence is any action that impacts on the business, which is outside of their control. For example the wages of their customers fall, thus the amount of money spent may reduce. The report does contain a number of spelling/grammar errors which should be corrected before submitted to the examiner.
Level of analysis
The report states that Marks & Spencer's main competitor is Waitrose, although why is this the case, and not others? The report could include 'Marks & Spencer's and Waitrose supply food items of high quality for a reasonable price, although the price has an small 'premium' for the high quality of their products. Thus, Waitrose is their rival, as there promote/market their products to the same consumers. It's quite difficult to acquire these consumers, as there is almost always one other retailer wanting the sales of that target audience'. The student does state that there have 'low prices', although this isn't the case. The retailer does try to 'match' others, but there do not under cut their rivals and have cheaper products. They only 'match' prices.
Response to question
In summary, the report is quite good. The report does state the processes that a number of retailers undertake. The student does link their academic understanding to their commercial understanding, which is a great aspect of the report. However some parts are lacking detail, and the student doesn't understand the case study of Waitrose, as clearly as She/He should. The student states that external factors could decease the share price. However this isn't too external. This is due to that the share price will increase/decrease based upon the businesses operations and how successful the business is. If the business were to undertake beneficial actions, there can allow the share price to become stable or increase/decrease. On the flip side, the student understands that if a competitor were to decrease their prices, this may attract consumers to their competitors. The business may have to decrease their own prices to 'price match' their rivals, and this may cause the business to loose profits.