The Ethics of Marriage and Divorce.

GCSE Religious Studies (Philosophy & Ethics)

The Ethics of Marriage and Divorce

Over eighty percent of adults marry at some time in their lives. A couple may choose to marry for several reasons, the most common of which being that the couple are in love with each other and want to show their commitment to each other by sharing the same name, house and living with each other. If a couple are already living with each other, as is often the case, it may be a financial, social and legal advantage for them to get married. The couple may want to start and maintain a family, and might want a stable relationship and home for the children to grow up in. The bonds between families, and the ownership of property established by a marriage also affect the choice to marry. As well as the fact that many religions encourage marriage, which could affect the couple’s choice.

In a Christian marriage, the couple will be married by a clergyman, usually in a church with friends and family in attendance. The couple will be told about their relationships with God and each other and the seriousness of the process they are undertaking. The bride and groom will then make promises to each other, called the Wedding Vows. Rituals and symbolism that reflect purity, the white wedding dress worn by the bride; the desire for fertility, the sprinkling of rice and confetti over the bride and groom; and the exchanging of rings, the never ending circle of unity between the bride, groom and God, usually take place.

The Wedding Vows are repeated by the bride and groom during the ceremony. They are similar throughout most denominations, although the vows used in the Alternative Service Book of the Church of England are considered unanimous.

The bride and groom’s promises are reasonably straight forward. They will promise to “have and to hold from this day forward”, to accept as a husband or wife from then on. “For better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health” meaning that they will stay together throughout all adversity or prosperity “until death do us part” until one of them dies.

In his letter to the Ephesians, St. Paul taught that wives should “submit to your husbands as to the Lord” (Ephesians 5:22) meaning that wives should submit to the authority of their husbands, just as they follow the commandments of God. In return, husbands should “love their wives even as their own bodies” which is pretty straightforward. This is believed and followed by Christians which is reflected in the Wedding Vows.

Christians view marriage as exclusive – between one man and woman only, until one of them dies. Once a couple have consecrated their marriage through sexual intercourse, they have ...

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Christians view marriage as exclusive – between one man and woman only, until one of them dies. Once a couple have consecrated their marriage through sexual intercourse, they have become “one flesh” (Mark 10:13) and their love is made holy with God, a bond that only God can break.

Jesus said that marriage is ‘life giving’ meaning that it is the designated place for having children. Or in other words, a couple should be married before having sex. This is another reason that a couple may want to get married, the bride became pregnant, and due to religion or want for a stable home to raise the child in, the couple marry.

Most Christians will choose to be married in a church. This is because it is the house of God, and they believe it has religious significance, and ordinance in the Gospel. Tradition and social pressure also bear weight in a couple’s choice. This also might affect the choice of a non Christian couple. Many non-Christians chose to marry in a church, and indeed follow all of the Christian rituals due to tradition or pressure for family and friends.

However, a non-Christian view of marriage could be somewhat different to that of a Christian view of marriage. A non-Christian couple may already have children before getting married, and may not want to take vows in which they have to be faithful for life. Even so, they many not really believe in the principles of Christianity, so aren’t under the obligation to follow the Wedding Vows.

One option for the couple is to have a civil marriage ceremony. This means they go to a registrar’s office where they are legally married. The only words they have to say are “I <name> hereby solemnly declare that I know or no legal impediment to my marrying <name>. I call upon these persons here present to witness that I <name> do take thee <name> to be my wedded <husband/wife>”. Many non-Christian couples may feel more comfortable being married like this than in a church.

Divorce is the legal termination of marriage. The Divorce Reform Act of 1971 states that the only grounds for a divorce are because an “irretrievable breakdown” has happened. This includes adultery, physical, verbal or mental abuse, the deserting of one partner by the other, or the separation of the couple for at least two years.

Since 1971, divorce rates have risen, now one in three marriages in Britain ends in divorce. There are many reasons for this, but one of the more common factors is that couples rush into marriages without considering everything that will be effected the marriage, and as it has been made easier to divorce, split without trying to work on their problems.

Christians believe that marriage is “until death do us part”, so should be against divorce. However, different denominations have different beliefs about divorce.

The Church of England teaches that marriage is for life, and that if a couple are divorced, they can’t remarry in a church. However, some vicars will allow people to remarry after divorce. Many vicars will offer a blessing on the marriage of divorcees in a civil ceremony, if requested by the couple.

The Roman Catholic Church doesn’t accept divorce. It teaches that a couple is married for life, and to remarry would be adultery. Under special circumstances, usually if the couple haven’t concentrated their marriage, an annulment, the legal end of marriage, can be arranged.

Some Free Churches will accept divorce and remarriage. They consider that marriage is not ended by the physical death of one partner, but by the ‘death’ of the love between the couple. They believe that if a couple are going to marry after either one or both of them have been divorced, it is better that they do it with the full blessing of the church.

QUESTION TWO.

“For Christians, sex is only right within marriage.”

Many Christians believe that God did not intend for a couple to have sexual intercourse before marriage, pre-marital sex, and that it is wrong and a serious sin. They share the same opinion for extra-marital sex or adultery, when either spouse has sexual intercourse with someone other than their husband or wife.

St. Paul was very clear in his preaching that Christians should avoid all pre and extra-marital sex. “Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body. Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own, you were bought at a price.” (1 Corinthians, 6:18-20). This means that our bodies are temples and house our spirits, created by God, our soul. When we sin sexually, we defile not only our body but our soul as well. Our sins are paid for by Jesus’ sacrifice, we are “bought at a price”. This is as relevant today as it was at the time of Jesus because Christians should not want to defile their souls to show their respect and value of Jesus’ sacrifice.

On the other hand, a couple may want to really get to know each other, see if they are ‘compatible’ and to get experienced sexually before they marry each other. Pre-marital sex could be a good idea as it could help a couple love and respect each other a lot more, which would strengthen the marriage. Although this could also lead to illegitimate and unwanted children, the spreading of sexually transmitted diseases, disappointment, and distrust.

Adultery, extra-marital sex, is forbidden by the seventh commandment. Jesus taught that not only to commit adultery is wrong, but that any man “who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart” (Matthew 5:27). Jesus is warning that lustful thoughts lead to lustful acts, and lustful acts, like pre-marital and extra-marital sex, are wrong.

However, if a couple wait until they are married before they have sex for the first time together, they may find that they don’t agree on certain things and that now that they have added sex to the carefully balanced equation of their relationship, it wont work. If a couple truly love each other, they should be able to overcome this, but sometimes one of the partners may seek sex elsewhere, causing the marriage to fall apart.

Being a practising Christian myself, I certainly agree that Christians should wait to be married to their partner before having sex with them. I understand that a couple would want to have pre-marital sex to get to know each other, but I believe that with God’s help, a couple can rise above any problems caused by lack of sexual experience if they wait until after they are marriage before having sex.

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