A third type of marriage is a bit more unusual and was obsolete by the end of the Republic. Usus was a practical marriage that did not require an actual wedding ceremony; it was a transfer to the hands of the husband by default after cohabitation. The only requirement for an usus marriage was that the man and woman live together for one full year. The woman would then pass into her husband's hands. There was one exception, however. If, within that year, the woman was away for three consecutive nights, she would not pass into the hands of her husband.
There were also marital unions that did not require the women to pass into her husband's hands. One, for instance, was free marriage. The wife would keep her independence as “filiafamilias to her paterfamilias”. If her father was dead, and had so specified in his will, she would be responsible for herself. She could then manage her own property and even initiate a divorce.
Prostitution was an alternative to marriage, though not for honourable women. Prostitutes were called scortae, meretrices, or lupae, but did not have the same status in Roman society as hetarai did in Greek society. Like their Greek counterparts, they were usually foreigners and were easy to identify with their make-up and flamboyant attire that contrasted sharply with the austere look of a married woman.
They registered with the aediles and later were required to pay taxes. As is the case today, prostitutes could work independently or for a brothel owner, the leno or lena.
No specific civil ceremony was required for the creation of a marriage; only mutual agreement and the fact that the couple must regard each other as husband and wife accordingly. Although not a legal necessity, some weddings, usually the first marriage of elite couples was accompanied by much festivities and song. Consent was very important and consisted of three steps. First, consent had to be shown in public prior to the wedding ceremony. One way to show consent was for the future bride and groom to appear in public holding hands. Consent was shown again during the wedding ceremony, and once again at the door of her new home, before she entered.
The betrothal was a formal ceremony between the two families where gifts were exchanged, the dowry was agreed upon, an agreement was signed, and the deal sealed with a kiss. The actual wedding date was chosen carefully. Although June was the month in which most people chose to marry, weddings did take place throughout the year.
An engagement period before the wedding was considered good manners, but it wasn't a legal requirement. An engagement ring was usual, when affordable. This ring was worn on the third finger of the left hand, as it is today, because the ancient Romans believed that a nerve ran from this finger directly to the heart.
On the wedding day, the groom would lead a procession to his bride's family home. Bridesmaids would escort the bride to meet her groom. She would be wearing a tunica recta; a white woven tunic, belted with an elaborate "Knot of Hercules," elaborately arranged hair, an orange wedding veil, and orange shoes. In upper-class weddings, the bride wore a flame-coloured veil over her bridal tunic. Some other wedding ceremonial tunics had pearls embroidered throughout the gown that is very similar to the gowns worn today. The veil that was used was topped with a wreath of flowers that the bride had to gather herself before the ceremony took place.
There had to be witnesses to the ceremony to make it legal, typically at least ten witnesses. The bride and groom would stand before a priest, holding hands. The bride had agreed to the wedding by appearing in public holding hands with her future husband. Once again, the bride had to consent to the marriage during the wedding ceremony, this time by saying words of consent in public. “These words were a chant, and were the same words for all brides and grooms. The bride would say: "Quando tu Gaius, ego Gaia." (When-and where-you are Gaius, I then-and there-am Gaia.) This chant may have been chosen for the lucky meaning of the name.”
After the words of consent, the bride and groom sat on stools, facing an altar. An offering was made to the god Jupiter, which usually consisted of cake. Once the priest had made the offering, the bride and groom then ate this cake. Then followed congratulations by the guests.
Following the signing of the marriage contract, there was a great marriage feast. The day ended with a noisy procession to the couple's new home, where the bride was carried over threshold so she wouldn't trip, if she did it was considered bad omen.
The young bride would have been in her early teens, as is the girl described in Catullus' poem with the words, "Young boy, release the little girl's small smooth arm". After marriage she will be transformed from a "little girl" into a respected wife. Elsewhere Catullus assures his readers that young daughters are unloved by their parents until they are married.
"If, when she is ripe for marriage, she enters into wedlock, she is ever dearer to her husband and less hateful to her parents…" (Catullus, Poems 62.57-65)
For the first 500 years in Rome, divorce was unknown. So, a great deal of care was taken selecting a marriage partner. Towards the latter part of the republic, and under the empire, divorces became very common; and in the case of marriages, where we assume that there was no “conventio in manum”, there was no particular form required. “Cn. Pompeius divorced his wife Mucia for alleged adultery, and his conduct was approved and Cicero speaks of Paula Valeria as being ready to serve her husband, on his return from his province, with notice of divorce. Cicero himself divorced his wife Marcia, that his friend Hortensius might marry her and have children by her”. If a husband divorced his wife, the wife's dos; every thing which when they were married was transferred by her, or by another person, to the husband, or to the husband's father. It would have then been restored and the same was the case when the divorce took place by mutual consent. As divorce became more common, attempts were made to check it indirectly, by affixing financial penalties or financial loss on the party whose behaviour made the divorce necessary. The husband, when in fault, was punished by being required to return the dos earlier than it was first said. After the divorce, either party might marry again.
As soon as a child was born, it was laid at its father's feet. If he raised the child in his arms, he was acknowledging as his own and admitting it to all rights and privileges of membership in a Roman family. If he did not take it, the child was an outcast, without family or protection. If a child was to be disposed of; taken from the house by a slave and left by the roadside. This did not often occur.
During the first eight days of a baby's life there were various religious ceremonies. The day of naming was called dies lustricus (day of purification) on this day the family rejoiced and celebrated.
If a boy’s father was a farmer, he learned to plough, plant and reap. If the father was a man of high position in Rome, his son stood beside him in the atrium when callers were received, to gain some practical knowledge of politics and affairs of state. The father trained the son in the use of weapons in military exercises, as well as in riding, swimming, wrestling, and boxing. Some boys were sent to school or taught by their fathers.
The goal of education in ancient Rome was to be an effective public speaker., and to learn to argue well. The school day began before sunrise, like most of the work in Rome. The Students brought candles to use until the sun came up, as it would still be dark. There was a rest for lunch and the afternoon siesta, and then went back to school until late afternoon. The length of the school year varied from school to school. However, all schools began again each year on the 24th of March.
About 200 BC, the Romans borrowed some of the ancient Greek system of education. Although they did not add many more subjects, they did begin sending their boys, and some of their girls, with their father's permission, to school, outside their home, at age 6 or 7.
The children studied counting, writing, and reading. They read scrolls and books, wrote on boards covered with wax, and used pebbles to do mathematical problems. They were taught Roman numerals, and recited lessons they had memorized in classes.
At age 12 or 13, the boys of the upper classes attended "grammar" school, where they studied Latin, Greek, grammar, and literature. At age 16, some boys went on to study public speaking at the oratory school, to prepare for a life as an orator. Poor children couldn't attend because they were not free.
In early Roman days, a Roman boy's education took place at home. If his father could read and write, he taught his son to do the same. The father instructed his sons in Roman law, history, customs, and physical training, to prepare for war. Reverence for the gods, respect for law, obedience to authority, and truthfulness were the most important lessons to be taught. Girls were taught by their mother. They learned to spin, weave, and sew.
Due to this early learning Rome could teach its children well and prepare for life and awkward situations such as war and voting.
At school young boys were often beaten for the tiniest offence, they believed that a boy could only learn accurately and correctly if he feared being caned for doing something wrong. The boys that continued to get things wrong were held down by two slaves, while his tutor beat him with a leather whip. Because there was not a large amount of subject choice boredom was quite common, the school day was much longer than nowadays, making the amount of boredom higher. During the school day, a child would rise at sunrise, not wanting to be late because this could lead to a caning, then they would work all day with a short break at lunch, and then home to be in bed by sunset for the next long day.
Lessons were learnt by heart because children did not need to know why something was right, but to know that it was right then they would escape a beating.
Lessons were dictated as there were no books because they were simply too expensive. The boys were not allowed to write on what we would consider to be paper because it was very expensive. They practised on a wax tablet and only when they had shown that they could write well, were they allowed to write on paper. This was made by the Ancient Egyptian method of papyrus reeds. They used quills and their ink was a mixture of gum, soot and sometimes, the ink from an octopus.
"The teacher must decide how to deal with his pupil. Some boys are lazy, unless forced to work; others do not like being controlled; some will respond to fear but others are paralysed by it. Give me a boy who is encouraged by praise, delighted by success and ready to weep over failure. Such a boy must be encouraged by appeals to his ambitions."
Quintilian, a teacher in the 1st Century AD.
Children worked seven days a week; there was no break for the weekend. However, this was not as dreadful as it appears. There were many school holidays: religious holidays meant that children did not have to go to school. Market days also resulted in school closures and children had a long summer holiday.
At the end of the school day children loved to play games. Roman children played with hobbyhorses, stilts, dolls-made of wax or clay, board games and many more. Some families had pets, the most common family pet was a dog, but families also had cats, birds and monkeys.
Conclusion
From the day they were born women were already far inferior: They had to take the female version of their father’s name, and had no individual name of their own. They belonged in the hands of their fathers until they married, and were passed into their husband’s hands or whether they were a Vestal Virgin and committed to Vestal the goddess, under the authority of the high priest. In education boys and young men were allowed to go to school and were to help provide for their families, most girls had to stay and home and learn how to cook and sew. Only the lucky few girls later on were allowed to learn at a school. Roman life was tough for women, not having a say in anything and having much less opportunities.
Nowadays it is very different; some women work full time whilst their husband brings up the family, women are allowed to vote and their voices are heard when they speak out. Many women in our generation are just as good and strong as men at most things; psychologically as well as physically. Women are still seen by some people as inferior, but the majority regards men and women as equals.
Claire Key
Bibliography
Cambridge Latin Course Unit IIIB
Greek and Roman Life, by Ian Jenkins
These were the Romans, by G.I.F.Tingay and J.Badcock
