English - Commentary

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Ben Swain

The Commentary

The purpose of ‘The Strand’ is to inform the reader about my chosen destination of Trebarwith Strand, and to show how you do not need to travel far or overseas for an ideal holiday location. It has to get the reader interested by helping them see what I’m writing about. The reader could be anyone looking for a holiday, possibly in England for a quiet break, such as hikers, surfers, families and couples. This type of writing is suitable for a magazine or guidebook, with the themes of geography and activities in the area which inform the reader.

For the opening paragraph I wrote from the first person to document my journey to Trebarwith. The compound-complex sentence I used to do this was intended to show that it is a long journey by foot, there’s a lot to take in.  “Just two and a half miles from Delabole, my hometown, along the winding country lanes, across fields and footpaths I arrive at my haven, Trebarwith Strand.” The punctuation breaks up the sentence to show the stages of the journey.

Nothing is mentioned about the Trebarwith itself though until the second paragraph. This was to encourage the reader to read on through the piece. In the second paragraph it’s a brief description of Trebarwith mentioning the geographical aspects of the beach “Trebarwith Strand is located on the North Coast of Cornwall and is part of one of the most beautiful stretches of coastline in South West England. At low tide there is almost a mile long stretch of beach.” These points add a more detailed approach that would be expected from a guidebook or magazine. Also the slight hint of fame that can be associated with the area “…makes an excellent scene, one that has even been popular with the film industry” makes the beach sound special and suggests that it really is as beautiful as described and would make part of the reader to wish they were there.

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To close the brief description of the area I mentioned how it “has so much for everyone”, which I thought would suggest that Trebarwith can be suitable for everyone and making the travel writing open to any audience. It also leads onto my writing of all the things available to do in the area.

For each paragraph about the activities in Trebarwith I tried to keep them short and snappy so that the reader would not lose interest. I did this by trying to make the sentences flow nicely by using alliteration to create long phrases such as ...

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