To close the brief description of the area I mentioned how it “has so much for everyone”, which I thought would suggest that Trebarwith can be suitable for everyone and making the travel writing open to any audience. It also leads onto my writing of all the things available to do in the area.
For each paragraph about the activities in Trebarwith I tried to keep them short and snappy so that the reader would not lose interest. I did this by trying to make the sentences flow nicely by using alliteration to create long phrases such as “superb surf spot” and “predominately peaky”. I felt that because they would help the writing flow the reader would not lose interest. If the reader was not interested about surfing and I had just written about a list of surf terms that they would not understand then they would immediately lose interest and stop reading.
For the second activity “Walking” I felt that this one should not be kept as short and simple like the first as my main point for walking around the coast was that “most of the best views can only be experienced via foot.” Therefore I made sure to mention the “spectacular coastal views”. I also tried to relate to how what you see when you are walking can be boring if you know nothing about it…so instead of seeing a lot of slate and fallen rocks, “impressive remnants of the cliff quarry workings that were in action up to the beginnings of World War II” sheds a positive light and also gives the tourist information to take when they visit. I could easily imagine a family walking past the quarry and the Dad saying how it was “in action up to the beginnings of World War II” in pursuit of grabbing his children’s attention.
For food and drink I felt that it was not important to go on about each restaurant and café like other travel guides or magazines would. I thought that it was better to focus on the “Mill House” as this was where I worked and after knowing the area for quite some time I knew that this was one of the best places that tourists, and not forgetting locals, liked to visit. To encourage them to visit the Mill preferably over the others I tried to paint the picture of how beautiful it is “…Mill house set in the wooded valley, offers tranquil, relaxing surroundings and has a great range of food including fresh seafood caught just off Trebarwith”. This compound-complex sentence worked like a summary of the Mill in order to sell it to the reader. When closing the paragraph I said how in Tintagel there was “a variety of restaurants and pubs” but purposely didn’t go into detail for I felt it suggested that there was nothing special there keeping the Mill in the readers mind as a good restaurant.
To close the writing I concluded with saying how it is “an ideal retreat”, “At the bottom of the wooded valley”. I felt that this sounded quite “picturesque” which would be expected in a travel guide which would be trying to sell the location. I then decided to include another hint of fame associated with Trebarwith, I had opened with the fact of it being popular with the film industry “an excellent scene, one that has even been popular with the film industry” to try and engage the readers attention. I felt that by concluding with another fact it would keep their attention even after they had finished reading. Magazines always try to throw in any hint of fame or celebrity to boost their story, and I felt that it would appeal interesting to someone, especially tourists.
Throughout the writing I tried to make it sound a friendly piece with the informal register. I felt that it highlighted how welcoming and nice the destination was which was important so that it gave the reader a good vibe about Trebarwith.
With most of the descriptions of the activities and the area I needed to keep them short so that I wouldn’t lose interest however I had to try and feed the readers senses. This is why in conjunction with using alliteration to make the paragraphs flow nicely I made sure to use words beginning with “S” when talking about surfing. “surf-scene”, “superb surf spot”, “surfed similar” and “surf school” which I thought created soft sounds that you would associate with the sea, and highlighted the peaceful country away from the busy city.
The main sense I needed to focus on was what they could see. Therefore I needed to be very descriptive when talking about the area and activities. “Spectacular coastal views” and “beautiful secluded coves” created positive images for the reader, it sounded like a tag line you would expect to read in a travel guide selling the destination. “…set in the wooded valley, offers tranquil, relaxing surroundings” that I thought sounded quite surreal and mystical, which some people would say Cornwall is.
The detailed information is left until the end to ensure the reader’s interest is not lost, but to reinstate that it is travel writing and to offer extra information for those who wish to use it. Wherever there was additional information I used a * to highlight it.
Overall I think that keeping the writing quite simple makes it more effective in keeping the reader interested and feeding them the information. For example this asyndetic list “The vast cliffs, impressive rockfall, caves, coves and the picturesque Gull rock sitting offshore” describes the whole coastline in one sentence, whereas I could have easily described it all in a long paragraph and just gone on which would have become boring. One last point that can interest the reader is how it is written from a local’s point of view who knows the area well. It isn’t written by some holiday guide, who goes to a place to see what it is like for a week and then leaves. From a local’s perspective what you are getting is genuine and true, and they have built up knowledge of the area over years so you get to know a lot more than you would expect from a typical guide.
