Nazma's story

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Nazma’s story

Nazma was sitting in her living room on her reclining chair. She was sitting next to the fire with her feet resting on a stool. The fire was gently flickering away. It was raining heavily outside and shadows of the fire were playing on the wall. She was alone and she was drifting off into her past. She remembered her eighteenth birthday and everything that happened afterwards.

Nazma woke up feeling excited. She did not sleep much during the night as she was thinking about her birthday. It was her eighteenth birthday and she was looking forward to celebrating it with her family. Nazma had two brothers she was the youngest in the family. Her parents and family had spoilt her as she was the only girl. Her family had been living in Bristol since her father immigrated to the United Kingdom. Her father had retired from running the family business a grocery store. Nazma’s brother had taken over the running of the family business. The family business was only breaking even now. Nazma had recently finished her A-level exams and was waiting for the results. She wanted to go to university but she had not decided upon which university or which course. It depended upon the results she would receive next month. Her older brother had been married for many years .He had three children, two daughters, and one son. He appeared to be happily married. His wife was from India, his parents introduced him to his wife. Her older brother lived on the same road as Nazma and her parents. Nazma’s father had decided to arrange a holiday for the family. He thought it would be a good idea for the family to spend time together before Nazma started university.

Nazma started thinking about going to the local university to do a degree in accountancy. She thought she would go on holiday with her family first. For the first few days of the holiday, Nazma was having a lot of fun. The weather was very hot and pleasant. They went to a trip to a hill station, which was a tourist attraction. They went on a trip to the sea, which was a lot of fun as it was very popular and hot. She went to visit the Taj Mahal. The white marble building impressed her. Every single day she ...

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One pleasant evening Nazma was sitting with her mother and brother on the porch and chatting. Her brother told her that there was someone suitable for her to marry.Nazma was angry, as she did not want to get married. She talked to her mother and said she wanted to return to Bristol. She said she would go back by herself.Nazma was unable to find her passport. When she asked her brother where her passport was he said, “I have taken it!”

Her mother said “Jamal your third cousin, a very hard working person is going to marry you”.Nazma replied, “I want to go to University.” Her mother said, “After you get married you can go to university”.Nazma met Jamal at a meeting which turned out to be the only contact they had with each other. Everything happened so quickly that she did not get a chance to think about him. Soon afterwards, she got married to Jamal and they returned to the UK. Meanwhile her husband had started work as a taxi driver. Nazma started a course at her local university, which was what she had always wanted to do. Her husband continued working during the nights as a taxi driver. He started work at 7pm and worked until four or five the next morning. When he returned home, he was very tired, and he would just fall asleep, they started neglecting each other and the children. Nazma would go out to her classes during the day. They hardly saw one another for many months, as Jamal was asleep during the day and Nazma was at university during the day. Meanwhile Nazma and her husband were continually arguing with each other. Nazma managed to finish her degree course and graduate. She was lucky in finding work. A local company hired her as a trainee accountant. The training at this firm went well for Nazma and they were able to move to a larger house. Jamal was suffering trying to keep up with their mortgage as he was working five nights a week. During the weekends when Nazma was not at work, she would argue with her husband. Jamal was very tired of this situation. Jamal was in a catch 22 situation , where he could not leave his job. It was impossible for him to progress and there were no training opportunities available to him because of the hours he worked. He did not have the basic skills in English to do any training course. Nazma and her husband reached a point where they could not bear to live with each other and mutually agreed to get a divorce.

Nazma carried on living in the family home and Jamal bought a home for himself. Jamal went back to India and remarried. Jamal returned to England from India and is now living with his new wife and children in Bristol. Nazma’s parents are still living in India.Nazma has continued working and is bringing up the children by herself though her husband gives her what support he can afford.

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Commentary

I decided to write this story because I am interested in conveying to the reader a very common problem in Asian families and culture. However, my story is just one angle on this situation and is not representative of all of these types of marriages. It is a normal practice for some Asian parents who have brought their children in a traditional and cultural way to try to arrange their children’s marriage within their own Asian community. However, it is now becoming increasingly difficult for parents to find suitable or available marriage partners for their children in the United Kingdom. Arranged marriages are becoming less common in Britain and hence a shortage of prospective marriage partners. To combat this there have been many marriage agencies set up for this purpose. Many parents as a last resort are turning towards India or Asia in an attempt to get their children married to suitable partners.

Many Asians who are born in the United Kingdom, and have been educated here find it worrying their parents would want too choose their life partners from Asia. The children feel their parents have no authority to do this. Many young British Asians feel it is hard to accept their life partners when they are married who they have never met apart from a brief time in their lives.

It is also very hard for the Asians who are from Asia to adjust to life in England. They have to start life again in a completely different environment. They cannot help their wives straight away by getting a job, as they have to obtain some qualifications to get a good job. If they have started families and have children, it is very hard to study. They are usually left with no choice as Jamil was in the story where he started taxi driving.Jamil did not have enough time to settle down or obtain any qualifications. Nazma started her studies to try to obtain a good job. She obviously started neglecting her children and husband. Then conflict started in their family lives, their children become uncontrollable, and bad mannered as the parents do not have time to spend with them. Arguments and disputes started between Jamal and Nazma. In the story they started blaming each other for all their faults, but they were frustrated with each other as they were not spending enough quality time with each other and their children.

In this story both parents were leading different lives. Both parents were only thinking of themselves. At the end of the story Jamal decides to go back to India to remarry with an Indian girl. He returns to the United Kingdom with his new wife. Jamal and his wife ended up misunderstanding each other. This story is a reminder to Asian parents who don’t fully discuss their children’s wishes or offer them any advice to the difficulties they would have to overcome to have a lasting marriage In the Buddha of Suburbia there is a character Anwar an Asian girls father who makes her marry someone through an arranged marriage, she refuses so her father goes on a hunger strike. This provided part of the inspiration for the story.

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Inspiration Buddha of Suburbia Faber and Faber 1991.