Emotional Intelligence and Relationships              Human Resource Management

“Anyone can become angry – that is easy. But to be angry with the right person, to the right degree, at the right time, for the right purpose, and in the right way – this is not easy.”

~ By Aristotle, The Nicomachean Ethics ~

Traditionally, management were only interested on return on investment (ROI) and shareholder value, not the neurobiology of emotions doing business. However, in modern days, there is probably nothing as important as having good human relationships in the workplace. Whether one is a chief executive officer, a consultant, a manager or team member, achieving results requires a productive working relationship with others. As such, having positive and sustainable human relationships is the bedrock for business effectiveness. According to Goleman, “Emotional Quotient (EQ) defines our capacity for relationship (Goldmen 1995)” and added, “Rational intelligence only contributes about 20% to the factors that determine success in life. Some extraneous factors such as luck, and particularly the characteristics of EQ, constitute the other 80% (Goldmen 1995).”

WHAT IS EMOTIONAL QUOTIENT?

By themselves, the discoveries in Emotional Quotient (EQ) are not new. Over the centuries, there have been numerous studies conducted to understand the workings ‘emotions’ and its practical importance. One of the earliest historical literature recordings dates back to 1st century B.C by Publilius Syrus, a Latin writer of mimes. Syrus states, ‘Rule your feelings, lest your feelings rule you’ (Hang 1999). In other words, people should take control of their feelings and emotions rather then allowing it to control their intellect and values (also known as emotional-hijacking). Today’s contemporary authors have since further expanded Syrus’ definition, which subsequently lead to the development of the EQ concept. EQ can be simply defined as:

Hence, it could be concluded that EQ could be referred to a person’s emotional intelligence (also known as EI). It should be noted that the term ‘emotional intelligence’ was created by Peter Salovey and John Mayer in 1990 and then popularised by Daniel Goldmen in 1995 in his ground-breaking bestseller, ‘Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ?’ (Goldmen 1995). According to Goldmen, EQ consists of 5 major qualities or characteristics (Goldmen 1995, p 43; Caudron, Shari 1999).  

  • Knowing one’s emotions (self-awareness)
  • Managing emotions (mood management)
  • Motivating oneself (self-motivation)
  • Recognising emotions in others (empathy)
  • Handling Relationships (interpersonal skills)

Notably, the first 4 characteristics can be broadly classified under the umbrella of intrapersonal intelligence. According to Gardner, intrapersonal intelligence, also known as self-smart, refers to one’s cognitive ability to understand and sense one’s ‘self’ (Goldmen 1995, p.39). This intelligence enables a person to have an accurate picture of their capabilities (i.e. strengths and limitations); awareness of inner moods, intentions, motivations, temperaments and desires, as well as self-esteem also the capacity for self-discipline (Goldmen 1995, p.39). In other words, intrapersonal intelligence can influence the development of an individual’s courage, perseverance, enthusiasm and passion (Hang 1999). It harnesses innovative and creative thinking (‘open to new ideas’) that allows a person to formulate creative and radically new approaches, which could be considered illogical based on conventional wisdom (Goldmen 1995). As such, these qualities embedded in a person are vital breakthrough scientific research, inventions, entrepreneurship and extraordinary achievements (Hang 1999).

Intrapersonal EQ qualities are crucial in personal daily and business interacts with people. Self-awareness refers to one’s own conscious of one’s feelings and can deal with them better (Goldmen 1995, p. 47). This personal trait helps individuals to be aware of any worrisome episode as soon as possible (Goldmen 1995, p. 47). Through mood management, one can act to overcome any negativity (i.e. being angry or depressed) that prevents one from accomplishing one’s goals (Goldmen 1995, p. 57). This personal attributes helps a person to think positively, which inturn boosts their morale during those challenging-times or difficult setbacks. Self-motivation refers one’s personal drive (internal locus of control) to achieve success, overcome obstacles, disappointments and frustrations as well to search proactively for opportunities (Dubrin 2004). It also prompts the individual to initiate conflict management, building bonds, teamwork and collaboration (Caudron, July 1999).

Lastly, empathy refers to a person’s ‘people skills’, which enables a person to know how another person is feeling (i.e. reading other people’s feeling). It allows individuals to place themselves in other people’s situation so to identify and conceptualise the other people’s problems and feelings. Notably, intuition plays a key role in empathy as helps in interpreting the non-verbal communication of people such as tone of voice, gesture and facial expression (Goldmen 1995, p. 96).

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Handling relationship can be categories as interpersonal intelligence (‘people smart’). According to Gardner, interpersonal intelligence is seen in how one ‘notices distinction among others; in particular, contrasts in their moods, temperaments motivations and intentions’ (Goldmen 1995, p.39). It creates the ability to understand other people in terms of what motivates them, how they work, how to work co-operatively with them (Hang 1999). Note that interpersonal intelligence fundamental requires the empathy skill mention earlier, which is, to identifying oneself mentally with a person and understanding his/her feelings. According to Hatch and Gardner of Harvard University, empathy combined with the four intrapersonal ...

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